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Six years ago, my husband was in a not-great place.  He had spent almost ten years working in the construction field as an administrator.  It was not a good fit for him in many ways and it was taking its toll.  He was perpetually exhausted, always angry, never in a good mood and almost never home.  It was impacting our relationship, our future plans and his physical and mental health.  So he took a big step:  he quit.

He drifted for a bit, not sure what he wanted to do, not sure if he’d made the right decision.  He wrestled with self-doubt, anxiety, fear and the feelings of dread when he thought about his future.  He felt he had let me, his family and himself down.  He felt like a failure.

Four years ago he went back to college, for a second degree.  He chose Veterinary Technology, which is essentially a nursing degree but with animals instead of people. He worked his ass off for four years.  He wrestled with self-doubt, anxiety, fear and feelings of dread when he thought about his future.  He often felt as though he was going to fail and let himself, his family and me down.  He felt the pressure and stress of deadlines, struggles to understand concepts and fear that he would not finish. It took its toll on our relationship, our family, our future plans and his physical and mental health.

Today, he graduates.  With a grade point average of 4.0.  At the honors convocation last night, he won an academic excellence award from his program, received his gold honors cords because he is graduation summa cum laude and he learned that he is co-valedictorian of the entire graduating class of the college.  He is sharing valedictorian with his best friend at school, who also earned a 4.0.

Today, he is filled with feelings of accomplishment, joy, relief and pride.  I share these with him and I am excited for our future plans.  There will be stress, there will be fear and there will be dread.  I am ok with this because I am hoping that now he knows, to the core of his soul, that he is not a failure, that he has not let anyone down and that he is capable of anything.

After the ceremony, I’ll pick up the kids (who are far too little to both miss their nap time at daycare and attend what will be a long, grown up, full of talking and quiet sitting ceremony) and we’ll have dinner at my husband’s favorite steak house, Flemmings.  We’ll celebrate this ending and the new beginning before us.

We’ll be proud.

I searched around the internet a bit and ended up using this post as my guide.  I used Food Network’s Gale Gand’s recipe but I halved it since there was no way I needed that many cones.  I also burned my fingers a bit and there were a number of cones that went directly into the disposal since it took a few tries to get both the timing/heat of the Panini press/method of rolling just right.

My advice to you is this:  be patient.  Also, be prepared to burn your fingers a little bit.  It’s worth it.

Ice Cream Cones

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups heavy cream

3/4 teaspoon vanilla

3/4 cup powdered sugar

3/4 cups flour

1/2 Tablespoon cornstarch

Directions

In a small bowl whisk together the sugar, flour and cornstarch.  Set it aside.

In a medium bowl, with a whisk or a hand mixer, beat the cream and vanilla, just until it thickens and becomes sort of mousse-like– don’t whip it into whipped cream.

Add the dry ingredients to the cream and stir to combine. You’ll end up with something between pancake and cookie batter.   Let it rest in the fridge for 30 minutes.

Enlist help with the clean-up.

Meanwhile, make a little cone template. I used a file folder on which I had traced the outline of a roll of packing tape and cut it out.  I taped it together into a little cone shape.

Heat up your Panini maker.  I found that the best setting for mine was actually the highest.  Drop about a tablespoon of batter onto the Panini maker and cook for roughly one to two minutes.  The little glob will turn into a sort of oval-ish shape.

Place your mold in the middle of your dough.  Wrap the dough around and make sure that it overlaps so that you don’t end up with a little hole in the bottom of your cone.

You have to work quickly because the cone will be very hot.  As it cools it will stick itself together and that will happen within 30 seconds.

Let it sit on the mold for a minute or two while it cools.

Even with the smaller recipe, I ended up with a number of small cones.  They were delicious.

And we got our portable ice cream for the playground.  Yum.

Anyway, I was cooking tonight and thinking about them and realized that the food I was making was something like their story (hey, it’s a cooking blog, stick with me through the strange parallels!).  I had an idea in my head of what I was making but then I sort of went with the inspiration and ended up with such a delicious dish that I wish I had measured and photographed all the way through so that I could share it with you in more detail.  A lot like falling in love:  by the time you remember to take photos, your partner is there, on one knee proposing.  Or something like that.

Balsamic Honey Chicken

Ingredients

2 chicken breasts

olive oil – just enough to coat the pan lightly

butter,  just a pat or two

balsamic vinager- maybe a 1/4 cup?

honey- about 1/8 of a cup- maybe more

chicken broth- maybe 1/2 cup

Directions

Season your chicken breasts with salt and pepper.  Heat the olive oil and butter on medium high heat in a saute pan.  Place the breasts in and brown on each side.  Turn heat down to medium, add the chicken broth and cook until just cooked through.  If you have thicker cut chicken breasts, they will take longer.  Take out the chicken breasts and put them on a plate to rest.  Turn the heat back to medium high and add the balsamic and honey.  Whisk together and let it reduce until syrupy.  To be really decadent, add one small pat of butter as well.

Even more perfect for me is that I had this glorious jar of honey, just begging to be used.  It’s from Georgia and my friend C. of the aforementioned newly betrothed bought it for me when she was there.  Could it be more pretty?

Slice your chicken breasts.  Maybe more neatly and more uniformly than I did.

Return them to the pan and coat them in this amazing sauce.  Let them heat back up over low heat.

I served mine with a side of steamed broccoli and some leftover pea risotto.  It was unexpectedly delicious, warm and comforting.  Much like love.

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It’s April which means that it’s time for my beloved  “adopted brother” T.’s birthday dinner.  He requested the same thing as last year with the exception of spinach instead of zucchini.  He also asked for carrot cake, which was a good thing, as I have an overabundance of carrots just now.  Chalk that up to absent-mindedness in the grocery store.  But it led to delicious cake.

I used a recipe from Cook’s Illustrated The New Best Recipe, which is a great cookbook.  After much consultation, T. decided on carrot cake, no raisins, yes to nuts and a cream cheese frosting (not a vanilla bean cream cheese frosting).

Carrot Cake and Cream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients

For the cake:

2 1/2 cups flour

1 1/4 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 1/4 teaspoons ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 pound carrots

1 1/2 cups white sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

4 large eggs

1 1/2 cups canola oil

For the frosting:

8 ounces cream cheese, softened  but still cool

5 Tablespoons unsalted butter, softened but still cool

1 Tablespoon sour cream (I used plain greek yogurt)

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1 1/4 cups confectioners’ sugar

Directions:

Preheat oven 350.  Cooks Illustrated says to grease and line a pan with parchment– they also want you to use a 13 x 9 pan. I used two eight inch pans and I forgot the parchment.  Either way, use the parchment– I regretted not having it.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, spices and salt.

In the food processor, fitted with the large shredding disc, or by hand, shred the carrots (make sure you washed and peeled them first).

Fold the carrots into the dry ingredients so that they are coated and set it aside.

Wipe out the food processor and fit it with the steel blade. I think this would also work in a stand mixer.  Process the eggs and sugars until combined and frothy.  While the machine is running, pour the oil through the chute  and process for about twenty seconds more.

Scrape this into a large bowl.  Stir in the carrot/dry ingredients.

Continue to mix until there are no streaks of flour left.

Pour into the prepared pans.  Bake for 35-40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.  Reverse the position of the pan halfway through. Let them cool on a rack for about two hours.  Run a knife around the edges and then try to flip them out.  If you used parchment, this will be successful.  If you didn’t, try a soft spatula around the edge that you sort of tuck under in order to help loosen the cake.  If you end up with big holes, well, that’s why frosting was invented.  While the cake is cooling, make the frosting.  In the food processor, with the steel blade (again, I think a stand mixer would work just fine), combine the cream cheese, butter, sour cream (yogurt) and vanilla.  This should take about five seconds according to CI but it took longer for me because my butter wasn’t soft enough.  I had to scrape down the sides a few times.  Once these are all combined, add the sugar and process again until smooth.  Two notes:  one, I had to make two batches of frosting in order to have enough (just double the recipe above) and two, I totally didn’t take photos of the frosting making.  So sorry.  Frost your cake.  You could get fancy and make carrots.  Save some of the frosting and separate into two small bowls.  Color one orange and one green.  Use this link for a tutorial on how to make the carrots and which decorating tips to use.  Try to space your carrots more evenly than mine so that everyone can have a piece with a carrot on it.  We served it with vanilla and chocolate ice cream. It was so good.  Half was eaten by the end of dinner.  Happy, happy birthday my dear brother T.  So glad you have a permanent seat at our crazy family table!!!

In times like these, I want to focus on the amazing, overwhelming outpouring of compassion, strength and support. Here is a quick list of a few of these.  They make me proud to be a Bostonian as well as a human.

More food later this week.  For now, I want to focus on my family and breathe in our love.

What is also sobering and what is another kind of developmental trauma is hunger.  I grew up thinking that famines happened in faraway places like Africa, not really aware that people go hungry right here in the U.S.  In fact, the sobering statistic is 1 out of 5 children (that’s 16 million) struggle with hunger.  I’ll say it again, one out of five.  Whoa.

Moreover, millions of Americans who participate in the nation’s food stamp program are limited to an average of $3 to $4 per person each day to supplement their food budget.  Additionally, the government subsidizes products like soy beans, wheat and corn instead of fresh produce so the most affordable food is often the unhealthiest.

Let’s break that down a bit more, shall we?  I have a family of four.  That would mean, at the most, we’d have $16 a day for our food budget.  A day.  All three meals.  Let me tell you, $16 wouldn’t even buy us enough fresh vegetables to last one meal, let alone three.

Can you imagine?

This is not ok.  I’ve written before about my anger over how expensive fresh food is.  Now, there’s another bit of media bringing it to the forefront.  Click below.

A Place at the Table.

What can we do?  Well, for starters, we can contact our politicians.  Click here to take 30 seconds to send a letter to congress about this issue.  See the movie.  Talk about it with friends.  Volunteer at your local food bank. Give to your local food pantry.  Educate yourself.

If you’re looking for a budget friendly recipe, here you go.  It’s from the January/February 2013 issue of Vegetarian Times.  I’ve made it quite often and it’s delicious.  I never really thought before about how expensive or inexpensive it might be but when I was at the grocery store the other day, I took a few shots to try to figure it out.

Spaghetti with Bok Choy, Poached Egg and Romano Cheese

Ingredients

1 Tablespoon Olive Oil

8 cups of thinly sliced bok choy (about 1 lb) (I’ve used baby bok choy as well)

1 red bell pepper, thinly sliced

pinch of red pepper flakes

5 cloves of garlic, minced (5 teaspoons)

1 cup vegetable or chicken broth

4 large eggs

1/2 lb whole wheat spaghetti

2 oz grated romano cheese

Directions

First, go shopping for your ingredients.  As I was doing this, I realized just how little $16 is when you’re looking at fresh food. 

Almost $13 down and that’s not including the rest of the ingredients!  On the other hand, These would make multiple meals.  Still, not really enough money, that $16.

So, once you’ve shopped, gather all your ingredients, boil some water so you can cook your pasta and get to chopping.  Oh, and cook your pasta.

Chop your bok choy and pepper.  Mince your garlic.  In a large saute pan, heat the oil and then add the bok choy, pepper and pepper flakes.  Saute over medium heat for about 8 minutes or until the veggies look golden.

Add the garlic and then the broth.  Let it simmer over medium-low heat for about 3 minutes.  Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Poach your eggs.  I have a special pan for this.  I inherited it from my grandmother.

Eggs go in the top part, water goes underneath and the eggs gently poach.

Drain your pasta and add it into the skillet with the veggies.

Toss it together and then dish it out into bowls.  Should make about four servings.

Place the poached egg on top.

Sprinkle with cheese and dig in….

My sweet, dear, smart, strong, smart, special daughter,

You are three.  As crude as it sounds, WTF?!  Wasn’t I just holding you for the first time, smiling down at your face through my tears of joy?  I mean, really, what is this three nonsense?

This last year has been so wonderful.  I’ve been able to watch your language develop, your motor skills grow and your personality really come to life.  I am in awe at the delight, joy and pure glee that you find in everything.  From eating breakfast at the bakery….

to eating the pizzas we made….

to playing at the “big” playground…

You are so smart and so outgoing that I can only hope to someday match your spirit.  You adore your brother and he is the first one you want to see each morning.

It is funny to me that I couldn’t get you into that crib for more than a minute when it was yours but now that it’s his and he’s in it, you’ll take every chance you can to climb in to be with him.

I love how your little mind works.  You’re always coming out with little facts or thoughts that show me how much you’re constantly processing.  You remember things you heard, read or did months ago and will come out with them at random times.  I adore the look on your face when you’re concentrating and learning or trying something new.  Like decorating the Christmas tree….

or lighting the Chanukah candles.

You still love to “make recipe” with me.

Lately you’ve been making statements that simply melt me.  A few days ago, as we walked to the car, holding hands, you said, “Mama, I love you.  You’re my best friend.”  I wanted to cry out of sheer joy.  I know in a few years you won’t think that anymore but I am hoping that, like me and my mother, and my mother and her mother, when you’re older you’ll come back around to that line of thinking.

My sweet baby girl, I have no good words to describe how much you’ve changed my life for the better, how much more me I feel by being your mother, how much you fill me with love, joy, laughter and the sense of rightness.  My life is so much better because you are in it.  I adore you and that doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel about you.

But I have to tell you, you’re growing so fast.  It’s good and correct and what I want for you and at the same time, I want to slow it down, keep you smaller for longer.  Because when you put on jeans?  You look about 15 years old to me.

My strong, smart, gorgeous, sweet, beautiful girl.  I love you so much.

Happy third birthday!!!

Love,

Mama

I made a number of oldies but goodies. Brisket, chicken, mashed potatoes, as always.  I added a few new(ish) things to the menu, as well.

Carrots, which I peeled and chopped.

Then tossed with olive oil and salt, and slow roasted until tender.  I also roasted some cauliflower and some asparagus, just to round out the veggie part of the meal.

Apple -Matzo Kugel, which was a hit last year.

And, of course, carmel chocolate matzo.  Who can resist?

In my younger, before children days, I’d go my favorite Irish bar, conveniently located a block from where I lived at the time. The Hippo and I spent many an afternoon there, talking with Mike, the older Irish bartender, who would tell us we were too pretty to put up with crappy guys or that we were too cute to stay single for long. St. Patrick’s day there was like any other day but more crowded and more green.

Now that I have two kids, three jobs, two pets and assorted other responsibilities, my bar days are pretty much over.  I am ok with this, as I never really took to green beer anyway.  I’ll be spending the day of the parade at the ballet (talk about a 180!).  Tonight, however, I celebrated through food, making corned beef and my own version of colcannon.  I share it with you in case you, too, have moved past your green beer days.

Corned Beef and Colcannon, 1/4 Irish style

Corned Beef

1 first cut brisket (I use the Wellshire Farms one) with the seasoning packet

Enough water to cover

1/2 cup brown (or dijon but brown is better) mustard

1/2 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup water

Directions:

Throw the corned beef along with the seasoning into a slow cooker. Cover with hot water so that the meat is submerged by about an inch.  Cook on high for 8 hours.  Take it out and put it on a sheet or broiler pan.  Let it start to cool a bit and heat your oven to 350.  In a small saucepan, combine the mustard, water and sugar.  Cook over medium high heat for about five minutes, so that it starts to reduce a bit.

Brush some over the top of your meat and put the meat in the oven.  Cook for about half an hour, basting every five to ten minutes.  Take the meat out and let it rest for about five to ten minutes before slicing.

Colcannon (sort of)

Ingredients

4 potatoes, peeled and sliced into even pieces

1 stick of butter (yes, I said a stick)

2-3 tablespoons sour cream or plain greek yogurt

1/2 onion, chopped

3-4 cloves of garlic, chopped

several handfuls of fresh spinach, washed and dried

Directions

Place potatoes into a saucepan and cover with water.  Add a generous amount of salt.  Boil over high heat until potatoes are soft.  Drain and add the potatoes back to the pot.  Mash them.

In a skillet over medium heat, melt the butter.  Add the onions and garlic and cook until soft, taking care not to let the garlic burn.  Add the spinach and mix until it wilts.  Dump the whole thing in with the potatoes and mix well with a large spoon.  You may need to add a bit of milk or more butter or sour cream/greek yogurt to get the texture you like.

We also made brownies, at the toddler’s request.  They were great- fudgy and sweet and just the right amount of crunch on the top. We used this recipe.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!  Don’t forget to wear green and be safe!!

In February, we went out to the Pacific Northwest to visit my cousin and her boys.  It was fantastic, but short.  The best part, of course, was seeing them and the second best part was the food (naturally).  We ate well, as we always do, feasting on salmon and greens.  They also introduced me to a restaurant that, if it were in my town, I would be visiting every single night.  Really.  I am considering a trip back, just to eat there.

I give you Din Tai Fung Dumpling House.

  For those of you in the know, I need not say more.

For those of you (like me) who don’t/didn’t know, let me tell you.  We went at lunchtime and there was a wait.  Which was fine, because we had entertainment.  When we walked in, we were greeted by this little dumpling guy.

Then, we were able to watch the chefs make the dumplings.

Just as the kids started to get restless, we were shown to our table.  At which there were four, kid size settings.

Drinks were quickly brought, also in kid sized cups, with the friendly dumpling guy on them.

I left the ordering up to my cousin and her husband and I wasn’t disappointed.  It works somewhat like a sushi or dim sum set up– you check off what you want and as it is delivered to your table, the servers stamp or check off what’s been brought.

We started with a cucumber that my cousin’s husband (effectively my brother in law) remembered from his childhood as something his grandmother made.  It was fresh, crunchy, sweet and salty.

Next came hot and sour soup.

Green beans.

And dumplings.  Oh, the dumplings.  Shrimp, chicken, pork…..  soup dumplings, steamed dumplings…  I was in heaven.

There was fried rice and noodles, too.  I wasn’t fast enough to get a photo of the noodles.

Oh, people, I can’t tell you how good this was.  It is beyond words.  Even the baby loved it.  Like, really loved it.

We’re all going to be dreaming about this place until we can get back there.  I’m going to be in search for a similar place here in my geographical area…  I’ll keep you posted.