One Year

A note about today’s post:  I had a personal blog but recently deleted it as I felt I was done.  The one piece I wanted to hold on to was my periodic letters to my daughter.  As this is now my blogging space, I’m hoping you’ll indulge me the occasional non-food related post.

My darling, wonderful amazing G,

A year ago today, I was working and wondering if you were going to arrive “on time” to meet me.  A year ago today, I was feeling kind of tired and slow but was still enjoying being pregnant.  In fact, I left work early (because everyone kept saying, “Why are you still here??!” and came home to make cookies for the nurses in the delivery room, just in case.  See?  You entered the world surrounded by food!).  A year ago today, I had no idea what my life would look like a year from then.  A year ago today, you came into my life and changed my entire world in an instant.

I can’t believe that you are a year old!  It has been the fastest year of my life, bar none.  Time has simply flown by and while I wish I could slow it down, I am so enjoying watching you grow and change that I know time is going by just as it is supposed to be doing.  I’ve been trying to be mindful and to enjoy every day.  On the nights when you won’t go to sleep, I remind myself that I only have so many nights in which I can snuggle with you like this- before I know it, you won’t want me to hug you as often.  During the days when you’re crabby I remind myself that pretty soon you’ll be talking and telling me “NO!” very emphatically.

I have taught parenting classes and talked about child development for years but it wasn’t until I spent a year watching you develop that I really, truly understood just how amazing it is.  You have gone from a small, helpless little blob, really, to a chatty, strong, person.  With your own personality, wishes, needs and desires.  It is really awesome, in the true sense of that word, to think about how quickly you’ve grown.  It’s still hard for me to believe that you’ve gone from this:

to this:

to this:

and this:

Darling little G, you are so happy!  Last night as I watched, you were grinning and laughing in your sleep.  I can only imagine what was happening in your dreams but I’m so glad that in that place I can’t reach you, you’re happy.  It’s a reflection, I think, of how happy you are in general.  You’re so good-natured and easy-going.  I hope it’s a quality that will last as it will serve you well in years to come.  I still don’t really understand how two very stubborn, anxious parents created you but I’m so glad we did!

In a year you have learned how to roll over, sit up, pull up, stand up and you’re well on your way to walking.  You have some words (Dah-dee, Uh-O and, most recently, Hi!) and some signs (milk, more and please) and you’ve been known to combine them to make sentences.  You love the dogs and have a serious mutual love affair going with the cat.  You love the people you know and you’re almost always interested in the people you don’t know yet.  No teeth yet (I have a small secret fear of you being the only kindergartener still gumming her food!)- but some should be here soon- I can see the little bumps.

Right now, as I type this, you’re scooting around on the floor, standing by the sofa and chatting away.  It’s as though you wake up full of things to tell me and you don’t stop until you fall asleep at night.  I’m sort of afraid of what will happen when you have even more words!

I’m joking, of course.  I can’t wait to see how you develop and change over the coming year and there are so many things I’m looking forward to sharing with you.  Cooking, reading, singing- I’m excited for when you can do those. You do already try all three and, for someone only one, you’re pretty successful at them!  I think daycare has been partially responsible for this and it has been so wonderful for you- you have friends you’re excited to see each day and you’re very social.  You participate in music class there and you’ve even learned how to nap.  On the sofa, next to the caregiver because you’re kind of a princess but still, you’re napping!

Oh, my darling, darling girl.  I am so grateful that you’ve chosen me and that you’ve come into my life.  I know I had 34 years before you but, honestly?  I can’t remember them all that clearly.  One year with you has blurred those memories so much that I feel like they belong to someone else.  I never knew I could love anyone as much as I love you and I can only hope that someday you’ll feel the same way about someone.  In the meantime, I will continue to snuggle you and keep you close for as long as you’ll let me (you have developed quite an independent streak which I expect to get stronger over time!).

I love you, sweet girl.  I can’ t wait to see what this year has in store for us!

Love always,


3 thoughts on “One Year

  1. So lovely, Stella, and well done. I see so many of my feelings mirrored and echoed in yours. Parenting, and now grandparenting (for me), gives an incredible insight on life and the nature of unconditional love. Happy Birthday, G! And you, Mama – enjoy every moment – and don’t blink. . .

  2. Happy birthday to the wee one.
    As we ramped up to Bean’s b’day I thought a lot about what a b’day means to me. My better half didn’t have parties growing up, like none. Whereas we had all the neighbourhood kids around. There was cake, always homemade, there was jello and crisps and there were games- pin the tail on the donkey, pass the parcel, musical chairs. I loved it.
    Until this year we always did a big thing for Bean, or maybe it was for us. Our friends, her preschool friends, beer, jumping castle etc. Then this year I asked her who she wanted to invite and it was much smaller. No kids exclusively from preschool, just the kids of our friends. There was a jumping castle, but next year it is going to be all about the games and just the friends she invites. So much calmer.

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