Another not food post. Time for my birthday letter for my daughter.
Dear Pre-Schooler G.,
PRE-SCHOOLER? Are you freakin’ kidding me? It’s as though you are on fast forward and you’re speeding past me full force. Recently we were talking about when you were born and you asked me if I remembered it? Remember it? I feel like it was a few hours ago and here we are, FOUR YEARS later.
And oh, what a ride this four years has been. Every single day you amaze me, my little girl, every. single. day. The way your mind works, the way you think about things, the connections you make, the opinions you form, and then share. As loudly as possible. With anyone who will listen. Your boundless joy, enthusiasm and love for the world around you and the people within it. Your endless love for me, your brother and your father. The pride you display when you’ve learned a new phrase or counted higher than before. The way you causally stroll into the bedroom saying, “Mumma, it’s 7 o’clock. The little hand is on the 7, that means it’s bedtime.” (No lie. I didn’t teach you that. How do you know that?!)
The storms are getting stormier now. You really do get angry and not the frustrated angry of the toddler years, when you didn’t have the words or ability to get your needs met. No, now you are feeling real “grown up” emotions- disappointment, anger, frustration, fear, exhaustion, sadness- and they show. What also shows, for better or worse, is that you’re the child of a therapist. Once you’ve moved through your emotional roller coaster, you’ll often say, “Mumma, it’s hard to calm down.”
You have become an excellent storyteller and an even more accurate reporter of the events of the day. Each night at dinner we talk about the best thing that happened and what we’re thankful for that day. You’ll often say that the best parts of your day included being with your favorite friends at “school” and you’re often thankful for “seeing you, Mumma.” Which makes me want to cry every single time because how’d I get so lucky?
You still adore your brother and can often amuse yourself with him. I’m still getting asked if you guys are twins and as you are currently wearing the other’s clothes, almost exclusively, I guess I can’t even say that the size should be a giveaway that you’re not. As M. is getting bigger and more verbal, the two of you are finding more about which to disagree. Fortunately, you’re also finding more places that you have in common. I hope that you will keep this close, loving, fun relationship as you grow. We keep reminding you that brothers and sisters are partners, not competitors. We’ll see how long that can keep up.
You are so capable now, of so many things. I am often astounded at what you can do independently. From getting dressed to difficult puzzles, you are able to actually help me now by either doing what I ask or keeping yourself busy. Of course you have figured out how to put in a DVD and how to use my iphone to find games so I’m not always sure this is the best thing.
You’re even old enough to go to the ballet. You went a few weeks ago with OGWO and saw Cinderella. OGWO reported that you were entranced by the story and that you sat up and followed the dancers with your eyes. You sat quietly and behaved like a girl twice your age. I’m so grateful that you can have these experiences.
Sweet, darling, wonderful, headstrong, stubborn, strong, smart, funny, amazing girl, I feel so lucky every day that I got to be your mother. Even when I’m frustrated. Even when I’m at my wit’s end. Even when I’ve been sucked into a power struggle that neither of us can win. Even then, I feel blessed.
And when you look up at me and say, out of nowhere, “Mumma, I really love you!”, my heart melts and I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
I love you, sweetie. Happy 4th birthday!